February 2012
1 post
I HATE EVERYBODY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
k kenji lopez alt is the black like me of veganism! HE IS ONE OF HTE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE!
this bullshit will apparently NEVER END!
Of course, as I was constructing it, Ed wandered over from the Overlord’s lair (as he is wont to do when there’s cooking going on) and said to me, “what’s cooking?”
“A...
January 2012
1 post
alcohol: scotch
movie: parents (1989)
this is the closest i’ve come to eraserhead since that first time. there’s nothing quite like indignant selfpity to stir one to blog.
apparently this young white woman is discovering really cool corners of the internet and compositing them into a really cool new phenomenon - single topic gimmick tumblrs. in fact, her coolest single topic tumblr...
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
3 posts
1 tag
untitled
i’m just not really sure how to really describe my disappointment with david byrne and cindy sherman’s turkey art. cindy sherman didn’t even bother to submit anything this year. i guess david byrne tried to make up for it with 2 submissions, both uninspired. i was kind of interested in turkey tartare and in the amount of flat leaf parsley in bbq turkey loaf, but then i noticed...
if u find the youtube video that has these...
“dont you touch my salad balls! I want some cheese! I want some cheese! I want some.. “
“Such a flea…Come into my pants hole ???”
“DONT YOU TOUCH MY SALAD BOWLLLLLLLL… GIMME CHEEEEEEEEZE I WANT SOME CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ”
“such a freeeak, such a freeeak!”
“such a Tree”
“such a dream”
“touch a...
1 tag
posts i was gonna make
lol what’s that food like down at occupy wall street?
- they already made a story like that :(
- lol cafe gratitude had a truck down at occupy oakland
- what does it mean that there’s a cafe gratitude INSIDE the whole foods that got vandalized in the course of some occupy oakland situations?
- the 2 taco trucks down at the port that stayed open late were well ...
September 2011
1 post
1 tag
July 2011
4 posts
the tabs i found open on my computer in the...
http://www.orchidboard.com/community/beginner-discussion/4712-brassia-potting-watering-question.html
http://cdn2.iofferphoto.com/img/item/182/130/453/100-handicraft-art-oil-paintings-puppy-kitten-picnic-28120.jpg
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxdvw942ih1qz86d0o1_500.jpg
http://jfk.deeppoliticsforum.com/page3.html
http://wordswithoutpictures.org/main.html?id=1,8
...
1 tag
jesus christ
well, it was inevitable. let’s just say that this shitshow got started as a group project where the other person fantastically failed to contribute (I KNOW YOU READ THIS. YOU ARE READING IT RIGHT NOW AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I STILL HATE YOU. WHEN ARE YOU NEXT COMING TO VISIT?). as a result, it has never been complete with only one contributor that attracts 3 readers. clearly the sole...
1 tag
castle rock wine opened and corked 10 days ago and...
this quiz is for all californianas and californians at heart. please open a new text doc and give yourself one point for every item below that you can answer “yes, i’ve thought that when traveling outside of california.” at the end please tally the score up.
for a gas station salad bar, this is pretty good
i just don’t feel like i’m getting a lot of nutrition from...
1 tag
it’s a bummer night, watching the road (NOT on instant) and drinking the saddest iced tea and gin “cocktail” on earth. hard to figure out which of those two options is the bigger bummer, rite?
actually, the saddest cocktail on earth that i ever made had a half a can of that thai basil seed drink mixed with some whiskey. i didn’t know that the thai basil seed drink was a...
June 2011
2 posts
1 tag
internet space history map
guys i don’t think it’s that hard. it’s an internet space history culture time continuum.
here is the map with my concentric circles of culture, internet, space, history, and time:
as you can clearly see, there are 3 loci of fast internet that are at the peak of the history/geography winners circle. i have identified the borders of the time/internet space with easy to...
1 tag
zaartar
i started reading this really coo lblog that’s like way right from our area- PALO ALTO. i only went there (palo alto) one time and it looked pretty suburban, pretty like car-dependent, but you know, maybe they got some really in-touch bloggers there. you know, california.
and this recent post that she posted really touched me:
ffffuuuuuu i can totally relate to that.
it really reminded...
May 2011
2 posts
1 tag
die hard and g & t
when i did that test a little while back about what writer your writing is like i put in my words that i work so hard on and the first thing i got was raymond chandler - and i was like who is that? it’s like a pulpy, noir guy. i was pretty happy with that, that’s pretty legit as far as a popular medium is concerned. i should’ve just stopped there but i didn’t. so i got the...
2 tags
veggie burgers
i haven’t given you a new vegetarian cookbook and since i’m otherwise out of content, here is the veggie burger cookbook by the morningstar corporation. it is a full, lush text with photos that intimate the same. yet there is a palpable missing element, a lacuna filled with menace and pregnant with meaning: where is the MorningStar Farms® Meal Starters™ Grillers® Recipe Crumbles™ in...
April 2011
5 posts
1 tag
UUUGHHH WHY DO MY POSTS HAVE SO MANY WORDS
UUUUUUGH the $3 sandwich rule was invented for a reason. we do not buy sandwiches that cost less than $3 for a very good reason (it’s private). and when we break the rule, we have to eat the whole sandwich even tho it’s unclear what the “meat” part of hte veggie banh mi is made of (usually you can tell like tofu, or shredded yuba, or seitan, you know) and there’s so...
3 tags
accidental content
i just turned the tv on to watch some netflix instant and gwyneth is cooking on tv with ellen. they are making vegan paella. it’s completely vegan.
what was that that she put in? oh yea just spanish saffron. and some pimenton from spain which ellen has NEVER EVEN HEARD OF. ellen also doesn’t know what sweating is for an eggplant.
what is that pan gwyneth? it’s just a paella...
1 tag
we're all down ass bitches
as you know i’m in the hip hop school of cooking. i even own the isaac hayes cookbook, cooking with heart and soul. as part of my advanced studies in the hip hop school, i deal with original works in higher hip hop cooking theory (seminar 363).
you know inspiration comes from all corners and for the last six months i have been suckling at the sweet fleshy tit of tupac amaru shakur...
1 tag
angland
thanks to that ho at the awl for supplying pictures and emotional direction.
1 tag
sorry, no content
do you guys buy all of your wine at smart and final too? why do they carry red and green varieties of el yucateco but not the delicious brown kutbil-ik? kudos to smart and final for now carrying normal-sized cans of chickpeas instead of 20 pound cans of chickpeas which are so hard for our DINK household to use (is “DINK” still used? or is it one of those pre-9/11 words?)....
March 2011
6 posts
2 tags
prepared meats
cured meats i could identify on sight - no problem
Russian hunters sausage (kabanosi - also polish)
Russian “bear” sausage (my favorite as a child)
Smoked turkey breast
ham
Honey glazed ham
Bacon
Salami (not any specific kinds though, i could pretty much only identify the fact that something was salami)
boloney
pepperoncini
prosciutto
pepperoni
salo (still count as meat?)
Cured meats i’ve...
1 tag
the case of the dancing lock gif
when i looked up how to drink bourbon, i clicked on the very first hit. it looked good cuz it was on a forum called straight bourbon. this was the post. you know it’s legit cuz the original post is from 2002, back when our choices of politically liberal bloggers to follow was so much narrower than it is now. seeing that little dancing lock in the style of a certain “famed on the...
these days
in these last brittle, twilight hours before the iron paywall of europe descends on www.nytimes.com, we momentarily lift the veil of linkban with a brief memory-based retrospective down “dining & wine” lane. take a walk with me through the jagged streets of delishy memory. we’ll hold each others hands and hold 3 shots of curacao in all of our other hands.
remember that slow...
3 tags
japan...
i’m sorry for radio silence, everyone. like all of you, i’ve been grieving regarding the situation in japan. remarkable how many people have managed to pull through and pull together.
i’m particularly honored to be a part of the food community in moments like these when people can really pull together and make a difference through their skills and interests. it’s just...
1 tag
it’s just so exhausting being inspired all the time.
as with william gibson “My problem is that all things are increasingly interesting to me.” this is both cory doctorow’s life philosophy and of course mine as well. apparently it’s the life philosophy of every commenter on that post also (no haters on boingboing???).
that’s why i’m trying to stay away...
1 tag
NEW YEAR NEW YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
i’m not even drinking and 10 mins in, commando is already going really well! they should just call him girl george - it would definitely cut down on the confusion! in full agreement on that one arnold.
since it’s still a new year new you, we are launching a fucking hot new gimmick. that gimmick is that i will illegally scan several pages of books in my vegetarian cookbook shelf and...
February 2011
4 posts
1 tag
entering the fucking ludicrous world of gchat...
me: what’s for dinner
i’m havin “gettin fat - at least 10 more pounds”
u?
my bud: i’m having Cassoluet
got these lil shreds of duck i need to do something with
toss em in the le creuset with a few sprigs of thyme
me: yea? a delicate cassoulet with cassava spirals and cassius clay potbelly squash all wrapped up in a cassio keyed whole wheat crust
my bud:...
1 tag
have i not been reading shine food blog since jan....
the last post i remember reading is from jan 14th. about the banana problem.
there are so many posts we’re just gonna do it like “roundup style” that i’ve seen working really well for other blogs. i mean i don’t even read those kinds of round ups or click on them, but surely people must cuz why would more-seo-conscious blogs keep doing them if not for it working,...
3 tags
detroit
guuuuuuuys it’s been so long. my hatemachine…runnin on “2 dprsd 2 hate.” tonight’s drinking and watching netflix instant is the show louie and drinking a cocktail of vodka, like 2 month old tonic, and pulpy “citrus juice” i made in the food processor from a variety of citruses in the “throw away” bags of berkeley bowl + some split oranges we...
2 tags
vignettes of modern living
my mom wasn’t really into my last blog post -
“come on mom, don’t you think they’re funny! look at that ham!!!”
“no. oogh, no that’s disgusting. i don’t think they’re funny at all.”
***
when you know you haven’t had a drink in 3 days:
that friends theme song really resonates. yea: “when it hasn’t been your day or...
January 2011
3 posts
1 tag
2011 creativity
man i got caught up with this crazy hairstyle website and i just went wild with putting food personalities into it. here are some of hte ones i made.
oh who’s peeking out of that face is it ree drummond????
i gave heidi a couple makeovers too:
“san francisco ‘93 heidi”:
“GOOP heidi”:
my favorite tho for face convergence and tits is “sara jessica...
1 tag
you know i never actually did a recipe post!!!
new year new you motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can you believe that i’ve never done an illustrated step-by-step photo recipe??
we’re gonna start right fucking now with WHAT I MADE FOR DINNER TONIGHT. tofuckingnight. i shit you fucking not. i ate this food tonight. almost 2 hours ago.
i made 2 types of very large ravioli: multimushroom and normal. i had a thin,...
1 tag
the night before new year's eve at berkeley bowl
ok my friend is in town and he needs specifically an acme sourdough baguette. not a fucking sourdough round or a sourdough loaf, but he wants that nasty, crunchy, “tastes hard even when it’s fresh” sourdough baguette - different strokes, tho, rite? and like they’re just in town for a few days, so we might as well fucking help them out with those nostalgic tastes of...
December 2010
7 posts
1 tag
portland problems
we only ate at one food cart during a 4 day trip
the food cart i ate at has no yelp page
coffee and desserts were expensive, BUT all other food was a great bargain!
as a result, i now feel bitter toward how expensive all the food is here
the dessert place was so packed that there was nowhere to sit so we had to go home with our desserts and eat them there
the food cart the other people ate...
1 tag
a different kind of food porn
i was just having dinner of (la brea) bread (LA bread!!! - i felt bad cuz it was from so far away!!!! it’s so good though!!!! a rare treat from the whole foods i never goto) and (trader joe’s) cheese and a 40 of heineken while watching reno 911 on the instant. i was trying to get some humor inspiration from gofugyourself but EITHER I’M NOT TOO DRUNK OR IT’S NOT TOO FUNNY.
...
2 tags
well everyone failed
it was a good job, but you failed. so here is the report on the rite-aid food gift selection in their christmas section. to serve the consumer even more (and in the spirit of mary ann romans), i also went to walgreens. so you are gonna have both.
ok here is rite-aid:
so we’ve got coffee grinder, coffee machine, beverage center, toaster oven, george forman, electric tea kettle,...
1 tag
ABOUT MY BOOK DEAL
i was just reading this interesting article about gen y people creating their own jobs when i remembered that i don’t yet have a fucking book deal. what are you people doing? why aren’t you word of mouthing me and recommending me to your people so that the little tumblr followers number just goes up up up??? are you making tumblr posts on things that you come up with on your own and...
1 tag
"the greeks all come down from the mountains and...
- my mother.
man you guys i gotta confess. hit the “ctrl r” rather than the “ctrl t.” DAMN. lost the whole post. let’s see, what was i going for like uh “i just read a bunch of gofugyourself so fuck you if you don’t like this sassy attitude! those gals they have such a way with the english language. i’m gonna start using “lady garden”...
Aries, as nobody else, must have rational invalid...
food horoscope was entirely too accurate today:
Giving in to temptation today could be easier than fighting the good fight. Guilt might not let you do that, so hang in there. Those cravings for sea salt and vinegar potato chips might be intense now, but they can’t last forever. Have mango slices or a cup of yogurt to tide you over until they subside. This, too, shall pass.
i made myself...
November 2010
6 posts
1 tag
you won't even believe what i made
I MADE DUMPLINGS. i made FUCKING DUMPLINGS. I HAVE TO BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU - I DID NOT MAKE HTE DUMPLING SKINS SO THE WHOLE THING WAS KIND OF BULLSHIT. BUT I BOUGHT THEM FRESH FROM OUR LOCAL CHINESE NOODLE COMPANY. there were AT LEAST 6 DIFFERENT OPTIONS IN DUMPLING SKINS.I GOT THE ONE KIND OF CIRCLE ONE (VERY THICK) AND 2 DIFFERENT KINDS OF SQUARE ONES (VERY THIN AND MEDIUM THIN):
...
1 tag
on the phone with mama
look, cake is actually a good choice for breakfast. cake really has a lot of the things that a body needs in the morning. first of all, sugar. sugar provides a lot of energy for your body when you wake up. then it has dairy and eggs - both healthy. and of course carbo- carb, what do they call them? carbohydrates. all of these things give you a lot of energy and keep you full until lunch!
1 tag
i can smell it
guys i can smell it. i can fucking smell my bookdeal. it is coming so soon. the world is so close to ready for me.
just look at how high profile the backlash is getting (and i guess the backlash is supposed to be funny but i’m just not seeing it).
this was in dumb good’s food section:
Grass Fed Beef Too Precious? TimesFood Writer Peter Meehan Vents!!!
New York Times...
1 tag
found on my life partner's half dead computer,...
things to buy:
Microplane Zester/Grater Soft Touch
Small custard cups
mandoline slicer
Fish: The Complete Guide to Buying and Cooking
1 tag
MY PHOTOESSAY
inspiration from my favorite new website.
1 tag
the ketel one bar at hartsfield-jackson...
just take these mushrooms from my tongue
all the poor sauteeing my hands have done
let them get too mushy (broken down)
guess sauteeing skills are earned and not won.
with that in mind, i very much recommend to NOT GET the ceasar salad at the ketel one bar in terminal A of the atlanta harstfield-jackson international airport. i don’t think they freshly grated the parmesan (as it said...
October 2010
9 posts
1 tag
what is the food web of the grey wolf?
GODDAMNIT.
i had an unsaved post for 4 days that just said “GODDAMNIT.” i have now retrieved that post. the topic of this post is severalfold. first of all, apparently i am also a fucking asshole in my goddamn dreams. i definitely had a dream a couple days ago where i said to someone “you know, i’ve been burned one too many times by tofu in frothy green curry coconut...
1 tag
washing the dishes
there is a giant spider living very comfortably in the kitchen glove. i guess it keeps the fruit flies away so i’ll just have someone assist me in putting him back down there.
oh god i just splashed moldy, soapy water in my eye
how many more drainholders of filth can one sink produce?
OH GOD IS THAT A GIANT BONE IN THE SINK
i wonder how many people compose tumblr posts when washing the...
1 tag
food theory
you guys i’m gonna lay some science on you. i had a problem a long time ago with a very popular online “multiplayer” video game. for the then-unemployed umblepie, it provided a straightforward, rigid system of achievable advancement and social accomplishment. umblepie could spend all of its unemployed time sitting on the couch (a favorite pasttime - or pref sitting in bed - even...
1 tag
